arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
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