last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
