More tranny stories later!
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
