quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
