If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I need a beard to bite.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
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