saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
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