She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize