i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
