There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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