When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
