no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Randomize
