At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Randomize
