margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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