so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
