Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
