i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Shame - the story of my life.
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