no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
that may or may not have been my penis.
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