he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
