he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
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Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
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Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
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