He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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