While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
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The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
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Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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