just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
