What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
