Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
