I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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