Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
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