I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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