She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
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