PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I have so many feelings about this burrito
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
