Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
