She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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