Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Do you still have your period?
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
