I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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