You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
