nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Randomize
