When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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