theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
