why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
