I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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