There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
