Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
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