I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Randomize
