Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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