How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
