I just threw up on my dentist
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
