There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
