It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize