Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
My dick has a subreddit
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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