So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Randomize