How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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