Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize