Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
