I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
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