I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
