what if every blade of grass was a penis?
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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