I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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