just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
