fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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