i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
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