dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
