Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
