its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
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