He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
