If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Randomize
