dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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