I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
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