Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
