and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
