Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
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