I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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