My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I AM VODKA MAN
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
