Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
