You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
