are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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