I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
