Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
