I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
